On this site I tell about my life as queer with a chronic illness. As a passionate storyteller, I exchange information with striking examples and personal experiences. Hopefully you are able to better empathise with my situation. And with that of many others...
![Fly [photo: robinbabu]](https://jochemverdonk.nl/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/fly-637949_640%20%5Brobinbabu%5D.jpg?itok=yXdy5Rd- "Fly [photo: robinbabu]")
So far I have not talked about sex on this blog. That I will change now! Because sex is important to me, as it is to most people. But since I became chronically ill, sex is no longer selfevident.
![Sniff [photo: Silviarita]](https://jochemverdonk.nl/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/sniff-1768463_640%20%28by%20silviarita%29.jpg?itok=5YOwEFI2 "Sniff [photo: Silviarita]")
Since I have ME/CFS, the flu is so much more severe than before. In the past, a flu was a matter of 1 to 1.5 weeks and then I was back in business. But now my life is completely disrupted for 3 to 8 weeks.
![Sauna [photo: Ulrike Leone]](https://jochemverdonk.nl/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/sauna-2886483_640%20%28by%20Ulrike%20Leone%29.jpg?itok=kXApDYeF "Sauna [photo: Ulrike Leone]")
A while ago I heard about a sauna where they apparently don't know what to do with transgender people. In this sauna, the policy applies that “women” may wear a bikini, panties or top and “men” may only wear a towel. In this sauna they base gender on the legal sex of the customer. So, the letter in the passport. Inquiry showed that binders are not allowed in this sauna.
![Bedroom [by Erika Wittlieb]](https://jochemverdonk.nl/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/bedroom-1006526_640%20%28by%20Erika%20Wittlieb%29.jpg?itok=iC-nuPBI "Bedroom [by Erika Wittlieb]")
At one point I saw an occupational therapist as part of a rehabilitation process. One day they asked me what time I normally get up. That varies a lot and depends on whether I have a good or a bad day. On good days I get up at 10 in the morning, on bad days I don't get up until 4 in the afternoon.
![Stacked Lego and Duplo bricks [Wikimedia Commons: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Briques_de_Lego_et_Duplo_empil%C3%A9es_.jpg]](https://jochemverdonk.nl/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/Briques_de_Lego_et_Duplo_empil%C3%A9es.jpg?itok=JzuFL-di "Stacked Lego and Duplo bricks [Wikimedia Commons: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Briques_de_Lego_et_Duplo_empil%C3%A9es_.jpg]")
"What you get from afar is good" I thought and decided to hire a British psychologist. So our conversations are in English, which gives our sessions an extra dimension.
![Trees in foggy snow [by Waldrebell]](https://jochemverdonk.nl/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/field/image/trees-5899195_640%20%28by%20Waldrebell%29.jpg?itok=XS53wUC1 "Trees in foggy snow [by Waldrebell]")
One day I wake up. I'm looking in the fridge, the open door in my hand. I hear someone asking: "What am I doing here?" For a moment I am surprised, because I am sure I didn't say anything. Yet it is my voice. I look around and I see a plate with two sandwiches on the counter. I realise I'm making lunch.
I'm stuck in an abusive relationship. My partner is convinced that I’m cheating on him. He thinks I'm asking too much of him. He systematically breaks down my self-esteem. I want to get out of this relationship, but I can't. Life couldn't be more lonesome…
The PFI-NL Bes Network will organise an online meeting on Sunday the 14th of June 2020. During this meeting we meet the cheerful, little god Bes and explain why our network is named after him. And we will discuss what we recognise in Bes. We close the afternoon with a Bes talisman.
Years ago I was on my way to the cinema with a group of friends. On our way we were approached by someone who asked for directions. No one in the group responded, except for me. That made sense: I was the only hearing one of our group. After I showed directions, they asked me if I was their mentor. "No, we are friends on our way to the cinema." I got an admiring look and the compliment that it was really good what I did.
One of the consequences of COVID amazes me: the absolute terror that rages through our society, resulting in a mild form of mass hysteria. Why this fear? Are we panicking because life suddenly turns out differently than we expected? Or is our taboo on dying and everything related to that, suddenly too close? It probably is a combination of factors this as well.